Santa Clav

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Re: Santa Clav

Postby Plink Floyd » Tue Dec 21, 2010 11:21 am

Watch those cookie crums, kids. You don't want sugar charged fleas in a bearskin rug, you know.
Did I ever tell you about my friend, Jason? Jason and the Golden Fleas? Wut? Oh, yeah, Santa Clav... um...
.
..........................
~

I said “Just a minute! With all this new kit,
I’ll be more productive! I mean it! No shit!”

“That’s what they all say, but not many do it.
You’re lazy, and wasteful, that’s all there is to it.

“You already have lots of really good gear,
but in your priorities it brings up the rear.”

“You have good synths now, but they just collect dust.
Your output’s at zero, and your chops build up rust.

“You click through the patches for hours, then you’re bored.
Just pick one and play it and then hit record!”

Well I sat there abashed and completely dumfounded.
I was pissed and ensaddened and fully confounded.

Then he put on his hat, and it all disappeared!
All the synths! All the stuff! All the wonderful gear!

It had just gone to shit in a shopping cart! Man!
What the heck could I do? I hadn’t a plan.


...
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby ClavAnother » Tue Dec 21, 2010 11:00 pm

:cry:
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby Plink Floyd » Wed Dec 22, 2010 12:15 am

Quit cryin! You don't think I'd write about a cool character like Santa Clav and make him a bastard, do ya? Even though I could, since I have Unleeemited Powah in that little universe I created bwa ha.
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby ClavAnother » Wed Dec 22, 2010 1:01 am

:cry: *sniff ok... I won't.
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby Plink Floyd » Wed Dec 22, 2010 1:45 am

That's butter. Now here's the latest turgid episode.

.
........................
~


So I did the same thing that you’d probably do;
wailing, teeth-gnashing and crying “BOO-HOO!”

I kissed the white mittens; I hugged the black boots!
I demanded to know where to file a dispute!

“Dude, I’ll launder your socks! I’ll fill you with beer!
I’ll cut a new song every day for a year!”

He just stood up and stretched, and walked toward the door.
He said “Look, I’m real sorry, but you’re just a gear whore.”

Damn. He was right. He had totally nailed it.
He gave one simple test, and I totally failed it.

He walked out the door. I was dismal and numb.
As he waved, he could tell I was totally bummed.

Well, that Clav Dude, he laid some compassion on me,
and he said, as he pissed on my knotsberry tree:

...
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby ClavAnother » Wed Dec 22, 2010 6:37 am

lol, you have a knotsberry tree?
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby Plink Floyd » Wed Dec 22, 2010 1:12 pm

Yeah. Over by the dental floss bush.
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby Plink Floyd » Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:15 pm

Now, let's get this over with, shall we?
.

........................
~


“Aw, shit, tell you what… I can make you a deal.
I can come back this way any time that I feel.

“I know that life’s busy. Hell, I’ve got some kids too.
But, Man, you’re no dummy! You know what to do!

“Just cut out some TV, talk less on the phone.
Hide in your studio when you’re not home alone.

“Ignore the damn doorbell, say less on the forum,
when emails come in, Holy Shit! Just ignore ‘em!

“Not many were given the musical gift.
You’re wasting it. That chaps my ass. Get my drift?”

“It’s even OK just to play for yourself.
But at least Just Do It! Don’t keep yer skillz on the shelf.”

Then he hitched up his mittens, and he whistled a thweet,
and damned if that hoopty didn’t jump up eight feet!

It thundered straight at him, and he jumped in the window!
He popped right in like a big red innuendo!

Then his car made an earshplittenloudbangen ROAR!
As he rocketed off, he yelled out the door:

“Just get it together! I’ll be back next year!
Just show me some progress! And lay in more beer!

“And maybe, just maybe, I’ll bring you a box! And
don’t forget that you promised to wash up those socks!”

........................~ fin ~

Thanks, faceparms, and apopologies to Mr. Geisel.
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby MetroSonus » Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:38 pm

i will read this.. drunk on chistmas eve.
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby Plink Floyd » Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:53 pm

You mean...you weren't breathlessly awaiting every serial installment? :cry:

But, on second thought, that's probably the best state of mind to enjoy it. :lol:
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby ClavAnother » Wed Dec 22, 2010 10:09 pm

*burp

:drink:


I will read this into my microphone. but I know not when.
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby Plink Floyd » Wed Dec 22, 2010 10:11 pm

It's pretty long, sorry.
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby BonsoWonderDog » Thu Dec 23, 2010 12:20 am

wot, am i the only one wot dun red it alreddy?
DO NOT WRITE IN THIS SPACE
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby ClavAnother » Thu Dec 23, 2010 12:28 am

no I reed the whole thing, but I will read it into my microphone ... soon.
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby Plink Floyd » Thu Dec 23, 2010 1:12 am

We unnerstand it's a busy tiem of year for you, being ClavaClaus and all...
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby christianrock » Wed Dec 09, 2015 3:46 pm

Well you know what time of the year it is. It's Santa Clav tiem. :smoke:
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby selfinflikted » Thu Dec 10, 2015 1:19 pm

I'm not sitting on your lap.
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby ClavAnother » Sun Dec 20, 2015 9:18 pm

You might change your tune after you get your christmas present.
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby selfinflikted » Mon Dec 21, 2015 2:36 pm

:eek:
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Re: Santa Clav

Postby christianrock » Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:54 pm

selfinflikted wrote::eek:


Image

Image

Image
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